Life Gets Hard


 Struggling with being alone. I have had a hard time getting myself to work on projects this week. As I lay on the couch watching one Netflix movie after another to numb the feelings whirling through my head. There is a voice that I keep trying to shut out, telling me to work on my blog or some projects for the blog. I just switch the channel to another program that grabs my attention better than the last to shut out that voice too. When I finally go to bed, I feel heavy and exhausted from the effort it took to do nothing. 


Yes, I know that doing something creative and stimulating will help the depression I have embraced this week. So why am I paralyzed? Because I am battling with myself about the content, I am putting into my blog. What do I want this blog to be?  How honest should I be? I have been frustrated with social media because it shows only the good stuff of life. Leaving me to feel like a failure. There is the question, am I a failure because I let myself feel afraid, lonely, sad?


I am human. I am a mother. I am a professional. I am an artist. I am an animal lover. I am a woman. I am a survivor. I am a nature lover. I am a friend. I am a student of life. 


So there it is; I couldn't work on showing you all the beautiful, fun, creative things I like to do because I had to let myself feel some things that were not pleasant. By taking the herculean task of turning off the tv and opening my laptop to write has helped me in a significant way work through those emotions I was trying to avoid. So why do we avoid doing what we know we should? Because it is hard, and it hurts. So if you have had an unproductive week, month, or year don't beat yourself up. Take the first step that you need to take to help yourself. You can do it, and so can I!

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