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Well, life threw me a curveball and it knocked me out for quite a while. I have put on my big girl panties and I am moving forward. I am in a new lovely home. I have one daughter still at home and she likes to spend time with me. We are adjusting to living in town versus the country. I miss my goats terribly but my two new kitties are helping me deal. My old dog Ed seems to have handled the move fine. I guess as long as he is with me he's good.
I have a new full-time job that I love. I am dedicating my free time to my daughter and exploring who Denise is as well as the fiber that I love. I am actually able to find comfort and pleasure in my fiber art because I am not feeling guilty spending the time doing it. I spin while on my lunch at work. This habit I have found mellows me out if I am having a particularly stressful day. Maybe it is the connection to the animals I don't know. When I was stressed before I could go out to take care of my goats and that always calmed me and helped put life into perspective. When I feel the fiber flowing thru my fingers the only thing I concentrate on is the fiber and how it feels. I have always gotten a thrill out of taking part in primitive tasks. I plan on continuing to explore that creative and curious side of myself.
I am better on most days. The bad days are fewer and farther apart. When they come they knock me down and I get pissed as hell that I am there again. My counselor tells me it takes time to grieve and after being with someone for 31 years it is going to take a few years to move on. I don't like that but I get it because when I deal with a feeling that comes up with the help of my counselor I make a paradigm shift. I am not kidding I can feel something shift in me and I feel a relief wash over me as I let an old thought process go. From now on here on this blog, I plan to focus on my art and lifestyle habits as I take my country life and to bring it into the city.